she takes plan B like it's going out of style
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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