my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
