so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
