life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
