you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
