do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
