omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
