wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
