Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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