Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
