I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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