I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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