70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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