I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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