CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize