she looked like the before picture.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
