You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Panties = found
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
