Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
