I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We talked him into tasing himself.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
