Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
