He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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