I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
