went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
