how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
