He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
