I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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