Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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