what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
