i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
