Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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