I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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