loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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