Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
