I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
