Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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