Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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