Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
