i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize