Christians are straight up FREAKS
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
