I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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