I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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