I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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