Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
