She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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