Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
