So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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