Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We left the knife in your bed.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My vagina is officially offended.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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