I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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