make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
