in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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