I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
