For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
