shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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