North Korea, Best Korea!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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