I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
