I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
