Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
