after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Randomize
