Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
