i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
