So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
