"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
