okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
