If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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